We thank Laura who was willing to share with us her bad experience and her thoughts on such a sensitive topic.
Year 2021, almost 2022. I am a woman, and I have been careful for 40 years because I am a woman.
I traveled half the World, lived abroad, never stopped at anything just because I was alone, but I was always careful. I always thought I had denied myself nothing, and yet, a few days ago, an event made me realize that mine was only an illusion of total freedom: my behavior and choices, and those of so many other women, are unfortunately altered by a society that should be tremendously more evolved, equal and guarantee the rights of all citizens and citizens.
I always lived with that little voice that suggested how to behave to avoid being misunderstood, how to dress, what route to take to get home at night; that little voice that said not to be driven home except by friends, not to drink too much alcohol if I was not accompanied, to make up out of whole cloth a boyfriend as a cover and protection.
It is not the fault of my parents or my upbringing but, on the contrary, my desire to do, to travel, to learn. It almost seems that there are different unwritten rules for men and women, even for the most common activities.
Incredibly, the triggering event for these thoughts of mine and this great need to raise an as yet unresolved issue was a race. Yeah, a very normal run.
My little voice has always suggested that I should avoid going running alone at night in the dark, or going through unfrequented places, or undressing too much even when it’s boiling hot. Things that seem normal, but then I wonder, would a man have a problem going out for a run at night in the dark in a normal situation? Or to go shirtless in hot weather?
In spite of my caution, during any lunch break, in broad daylight, in a busy public park in Milan, while running with my thoughts, I happened to be overtaken by a pickup truck at full speed; the driver then parked on the road I was rushing along, placing himself in front of me, and displaying nudity I would have avoided seeing.
I simply kept running since he did not approach me (I found out later that he was probably just avoiding the cameras in the park), repeating to myself, “Come on, nothing happened, just a little scare,” but then I started thinking.
I wondered if I could have avoided that situation and why I didn’t have my cell phone with me; I wondered if I hadn’t been approached just because, fortunately, a couple of people were passing by at that moment, right there.
After a thousand somewhat confused thoughts, I got angry because the reality was only one: any kind of assault, even seemingly insignificant ones like this, in a public place, as in a private place, simply must not happen.
I have been running for years almost always in company, and I have realized that I definitely feel safer when I run with someone, especially a male. An innate need for protection, from whom? From what? I leave it up to you reading to answer.
I know I will remove the unpleasant event from my mind, in fact perhaps I already have. I haven’t gone back to run in that park yet because the thought doesn’t appeal to me. I haven’t left my cell phone at home anymore, despite the fact that it bothers me to have it with me while I run, because I might need it. Before I go out for a run by myself, especially if it’s about to get dark, I think of a nice, busy route (which in Milan also means breathing a lot of smog!).
Nothing happened that day? I don’t think so. My freedom has been unfairly restricted.
I have been paying attention for 40 years because I am a woman and I am fed up because, within the rules and the society to which we belong, I should have the right to live free and without fears or preclusions related to my gender, without having to worry about being in a position of weakness or inferiority.
However, I also have to bend to accept a society that does not have enough culture, education and sensitivity so that there really is the gender equality that we keep talking about so much but which is still light years away from the World in which we live.
Let us commit ourselves to educating our sons more than protecting our daughters.
(Main image credits: AVFC on DepositPhotos.com)