Do you know that in China it is forbidden to reincarnate into another person without government permission? And that in Brazil you cannot under any circumstances build a space for extraterrestrials to land in your backyard? And that in Alabama it is forbidden to walk with an ice cream cone stuffed in your pants pocket?
You never know the Martians are coming, better to be prescient. Not to mention the ice cream cones, which in the pants just don’t.
The world needs rules, and these (real) rules are clearly absurd. There are also some concerning the world of races and marathons, quiet. Some are reasonable though often ignored-not least because it is really rare that anyone thinks of breaking them-while others are less well known but make sense.
Let’s look at some of them.
Things you would never think of doing at a marathon (and that are forbidden anyway)
It may never have occurred to you to do this, but in marathons and races in general it is forbidden to fold your bib so as to make it illegible or even to hide the number or give it to anyone, under penalty of exclusion both yours and that or the one you gave it to. And unfortunately, you cannot bring (and shoot) fireworks. They are beautiful and party but you can’t. Just as in New York it is forbidden not only to drink alcohol in the race-and we would miss it-but also among the audience lined up along the course. After all, you sweat and that should be enough, also because you can only drink at refreshments, like in certain races where camelbacks (the backpacks that allow you to carry liquids to be consumed with a straw) are prohibited. And generally the registration fee is nonrefundable, although in this post-COVID era there is much more elasticity on this front, at least for races canceled or postponed for public health reasons.
Abundant technical clothes are not allowed but only tight-fitting ones, and most importantly, no free peeing along the route. I guess the “We’d miss you!” will be wasted in this part. Do you want another one? You can’t run with the dogs and you can’t spit where and when you please-the two are obviously not related-but you must always pay attention to those around you. You can’t even tie your shoes in the middle of the course or deliberately block other competitors. As you can see, to try to win you really have to run, there is no running away. One thing that is perhaps less well known is that almost all races have a maximum time: if you cross the finish line after the time allowed, you cannot enter the overall standings. But don’t worry, these are generally very generous times that you can cover just by walking, and if you can’t make it, it’s better to ask yourself why you signed up for a marathon and didn’t drop out when you realized you weren’t going to make it to complete it.
Things you might do, but.
In the moment of fatigue and extreme exertion, it’s okay that an expletive may escape you. Know that if you’re running the Boston Marathon swearing is strictly prohibited. Decorum, by golly!
Also in Boston, you can’t run if you listen to music and compete for prize money. If it’s just for the marathon it’s okay to be accompanied by music but if you’re doing it for money, NO. And it’s worth remembering that when you win prize money (first and foremost: bravo or bravo!) you have to pay tax on it. There is no question: winnings are taxed.
In many competitions you are not allowed to enter dressed as Shrek or as a dinosaur or medieval knight. After all, I want to see you running in carnival attire, and anyway, a marathon is serious business. If you want to be phenomenal, there are non-competitions where you often see individuals dressed in bizarre ways (often to raise money for charity) and it’s beautiful and so much fun. But not if you want to run seriously.
Running while pushing a stroller is not allowed in either Boston or New York City, nor is littering outside the designated receptacles provided along the route.
Thank you very, very much.
The last ones are from the category “By all means, but up!” But if they specify it, there must be those who did it. Like: a must-have condition for running a marathon is to show up on time at the start, don’t stray off the course, and-hold on to your hat-don’t doping. Always better to say such things: after all, the rule of rules is that rules must be read, understood and known, and the capacity and imagination of humans to seek shortcuts and cheat are truly endless.
(Via Men’s Health)