The weirdest things people bring to races

You can love or hate Reddit. Either love to hate, or hate because you love it. It is chaotic, very often incomprehensible, but for a good reason: those who manage and frequent it care about keeping a high access threshold, that is, in other words, making it unfriendly. Everything is discussed and, unlike other social networks, the spirit that animates it (at least originally) is meritocratic: thanks to the upvote mechanism, only the most relevant, intelligent and community-appreciated comments emerge amidst the magma of chatter.

However, this system has caused some distortions: the wittier comments often emerge over the serious ones, and in fact it is no coincidence that many jokes and memes appearing on the other social networks come from comments that appeared previously on Reddit.

What are you talking about, Martino? What I mean is that, since you find everything there, you can also talk about running and in particular about [rullo di tamburi]: the weirdest things you take with you when you go out running! I’ll preface this by saying that some of the comments-which, as you may have guessed, is normal for Reddit-are relevant and some are totally crazy. In all, there are nearly 300 of them, from which I have selected the most delicious. Do we have to believe in them? We don’t? It doesn’t matter: it’s Reddit and I want to believe anyone in there.

Useful things

Not surprisingly, many people carry their cell phones with them, taking care to have the emergency number handy. And also a couple of aspirin, you never know. One guy does the same, especially since he once was injured and did not have it and could not call his wife or a cab. The same also notes that although he is 30 years old, his father who is 64, runs without a phone and is faster than him.
However, there are other useful items that people carry in their pockets (or where they can put them):

  • Emergency wipes: needed for the nose if you have a cold and… for other bodily emergencies
  • A buff, but twisted around the wrist: in fact, it serves not only to protect the neck but, tightly wrapped around the wrist, can serve to hold keys, coins, or other small objects
  • Self-defense sprays: unfortunately
  • Spare change in case of emergency or to buy something inexpensive to eat, usually $5 (although one points out that, due to inflation, it is now better to bring at least $10)
  • An audible alarm to scare off coyotes (well, I guess this depends on where you run).
  • An empty bottle and toilet paper (if you fill it, note one, you practically have a bidet).

On the topic of hydration bottles, Onefailatatime gives a genius tip: he always carries one that he hides or buries at the beginning of the run so that he can find it on the way back, thus avoiding carrying weight around.

Most useful things

Okay, these things are not more useful than the previous ones. They’re just part of those dumb comments I was telling you about earlier, and the problem (or luck) with Reddit is that they’re brilliant!

For example, one recommends bringing an anvil (you never know). And below someone comments that it is a brilliant idea because if he meets a bear he can throw it at it and, relieved, run even harder!

Instead, one brings vines and potatoes-I swear, I didn’t understand why. Another suggests bringing tortillas while burp110 says he never misses the Star Trek teleportation remote control, otherwise how does he get back to the ship?

Huahua 16 (whose name already raises suspicions about his seriousness), advises people NOT to bring water, out of solidarity with the rabia victims.

RunNelleyRun carries a knife and jar of peanut butter. They have a dual function: as a carbohydrate supplement and, if you rub it on your nipples it works like lube, protecting them. Oh, and there is also a third one: if some predator is stalking you, you can always distract him by feeding him.

Some people also upgrade their kitchen knife to spread peanut butter: they carry a hunting knife already unsheathed and pointed forward, breathing like a zombie, partly because doing so improves VO2 max.

Supermonsterish runs naked, except for the shoes he has to wear. “So,” he concludes, “I suspect I should say I wear running shoes.”
Also brilliant is the exchange of lines between Szakee and Wild_wood_heart: “I don’t carry anything” “Useless comment” “Yours too.”
Blankslate_fullplate notes that the only bizarre thing he brings with him is himself. Philosophical.
What about you, do you take strange things with you when you run?

(Main image credits: PHOTOLOGY1971on


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