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Wisdom sometimes lies in putting ourselves outside our own minds and looking at ourselves from a distance.
Many times we attribute intentions or motivations to others that do not actually exist. This is an egocentric view of the world: we tend to see others’ actions as directed toward us, when in fact they may have far more complex origins, related to contexts, experiences and motivations that are unknown to us.
The Zhuangzi is an ancient Chinese text. A philosophical work from the 4th century B.C., it is among the main points of reference for Daoism. Within it is a parable that goes something like this:
A man is sailing his boat in a river.
Suddenly another boat hits his. But on the other boat there is no one. It is an empty boat. The man then does not get irritated or disconcerted; he critically assesses the situation and decides how to move around the empty boat to cross the river.
But what if there had been someone driving that boat? Well, then the man would probably have reacted angrily toward the other driver. He would have hurled screams and expletives, blaming him for the accident.
An ancient parable that makes us reflect on how most of our reactions are often influenced more by our interpretations of events than by objective reality. As Taoist monks say, we often attribute intentions and motives to others that do not exist. In an overly self-centered view of the world. Sometimes, people do what they do for reasons invisible to us. Because of their past. Because of their difficulties. Because of their culture. Not always because they want to hurt us.