Make friends with fear

• Fear can become a guide, a signal that shows you where you can grow and overcome your limitations.

• Turning fear into an ally can motivate you, making you stronger and more self-aware each time you overcome it.

• Make friends with fear: embrace it and use it as a source of energy to face new challenges with determination and grow continuously.

 

The only way to gain confidence in one’s own means is to do things that we think are difficult. Uncomfortable.

So begins one of this week’s installments of Goodmorning Runlovers. It takes inspiration from a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. She said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt was therefore not just talking about unpleasant or difficult things to do but about something deeper: she was talking about fear.

How many times have you felt fear making itself felt, almost as if it were knocking at your door? That sense of agitation to which we sometimes give the name anxiety but other times it is really fear, without any other moniker? That feeling that starts in your stomach, goes up your spine and makes you wonder if you’ll ever rise to the occasion, that’s it: that fear.

We have known fear since childhood, but we always tend to treat it as a stranger: an unwelcome guest to be avoided or driven away. But what if its existence has meaning, a reason? Maybe it is just a matter of stopping for a moment and trying to get to know her better. What if, instead of running away from it, we begin to see it as a part of us, something that can have meaning and even value? Something we never paid attention to and always portrayed ourselves as terrified of, without questioning why it was there, what its meaning was.

The forms of fear

Fear is not only a constant in our daily lives, but it is also present in our sports activities, even when we run. Every time you lace up your shoes for a training session or a race, fears emerge that can block you. That of failing, of not being prepared enough, of not being able to run the distance you know you can cover. Or that of not keeping the expected pace.

Then there is a more subtle fear: that of failing to exceed your limits, of disappointing your expectations or those of others. The fear of not living up to the challenges you set for yourself, the fear of failing once again, and falling back into that vicious cycle of constant confirmation of your fundamental inability. “You can’t even do this thing. You can’t even stick to a very simple training plan, how can you expect to succeed at everything else?”

Does it sound familiar? This is a feeling that can creep up inside you and undermine your self-confidence. These same fears manifest themselves in life’s challenges, whenever you face difficult decisions or are faced with obstacles that seem insurmountable. Fear enters your thoughts like Freddy Krueger in your dreams and makes you think you are unable to cope with what is in front of you.

Step on the side and look at it differently

There is, however, a different way to relate to fear. You can stop seeing it as an enemy and start treating it not only as a friend but more: treat it as a guide. After all, fear is nothing more than a natural response to what you perceive as unknown or potentially dangerous. It is a response to an ancestral defense mechanism that tells you that something you don’t know could put your life at risk. If you listened to it carefully instead, you could discover a lot more about yourself: like what you really care about, what you really want, and where you can improve.

Fear delineates the boundary between what you are and what you can become. Instead of being just a limitation, it can be interpreted as a kind of indicator, a signal that is telling you that you are approaching something really important, something that has the potential to make you change and grow. After all, you are not afraid of something dangerous but rather of something different: of something that can make you change, destabilizing you first, though.

How many fears have you already overcome? This is just one more

Think about it: every time you have faced one of your fears and overcome it, haven’t you felt stronger and more aware of your abilities? Every time you choose not to back down in the face of a fear, you learn something new about yourself, about what you can deal with, about your inner resources. Fear can become a powerful fuel, a motivating factor that pushes you to exceed your limits.

It is no longer just the cause of a psychological block, but an impetus to prepare better, to challenge yourself, and to take risks. When you learn to turn fear into an ally, you also begin to see challenges as opportunities. Instead of avoiding it, you can learn to use it as a source of energy. Whenever you prepare for a race, a big project or a personal challenge, you can use it to improve, to push yourself beyond your limits and to face what is (for now) new to you with determination.

Make friends with fear

Of course, it is not an easy process and it requires courage. But that courage is already in you, every time you challenge yourself and every time you choose not to give up. View fear as an opportunity for growth, whether you are running through the streets of your city or facing a personal or professional challenge. When you embrace fear, you begin to discover how powerful and transformative it can be. It is when fear stops being an obstacle and becomes an ally that you can discover how strong you can really be. That’s when you realize that many of the limitations you set for yourself are just mental constructs that, with the right approach, you can overcome. Think about how you can transform fear: from a dark area you’d rather not go into it can become a beacon that points you in the right direction, a guide that challenges you to become the best version of yourself. So, don’t push it away: embrace it, listen to it, and let it help you grow.

You already know Goodmorning Runlovers, right? If you don’t know it, you can sign up here or by clicking below.